The best way to defend yourself from psychological manipulation
is to know what the main techniques of this type of abuse are. Discover which
are the most common and how to deal with them.
Although we are not aware of it, we have all used manipulation
at one time or another. Even so, people who use them constantly often do so
with the intention of harming others. In these cases, it can be useful to know
how to detect the main manipulation techniques. What are the most common?
What is manipulation?
Manipulation refers to the act of trying to influence the
emotions of others so that they act in a specific way or feel a certain thing.
Although it is common in interpersonal relationships in a subtle way, when
manipulation techniques are used to obtain certain benefits, this implies an
unhealthy attitude.
Main manipulation techniques
In the event that you think or believe that someone is
manipulating you, it is important that you learn to identify the most common
manipulation techniques:
- Using an intense emotional
connection to control behavior: That is, a manipulative person may try to
get close to others to get what they really want from them. In fact, you
can use this attention to make her feel indebted.
- Using a person's insecurities:
A tactic to be able to manipulate people is precisely trying to make
them more insecure about what they perceive as defects.
- Lying and denial: Manipulators
can bombard victims with their lies. The moment they are caught, they can
deny this lie or cover it up with false information.
- Generalize: Another of the most
common manipulation techniques is when a defect or mistake of the other
person is generalized to make them feel bad. For example, it is difficult
to respond to a 'never' or 'never' accusation. These types of accusations
are often more difficult to dispute.
- Changing the subject: When
arguing, people who use manipulation techniques often change the subject
when they see that they are cornered or when they do not feel comfortable
talking about something that affects them.
- Using fear to control others:
People who are manipulative may use your fears to try to control you. For
example, they can take actions that they know perfectly well affect you as
a way of threatening you.
- Passive Aggression: Passive
aggression is a way of expressing disgust or anger without directly
expressing emotions or feelings. That is, instead of communicating it,
people simply act angry towards others.
- Gaslighting: Involves making
people feel confused about an event that really happened. Therefore, this
manipulation technique makes people doubt whether something had happened
or not.
- Recruit other people:
Manipulators often influence the social circle in such a way that they can
use others to increase control over a person.
These are some of the main manipulation techniques that people
can use to influence other people. If you feel that someone is using them with
you and it is affecting you, it is important that you go to a professional
psychologist.
What is psychological manipulation used for?
Not all people who manipulate have a bad intention towards
others, even in some cases where very intense damage is caused. Some of the
most common causes for which people manipulate are the following:
●
Lack of communication skills: Some people may
find it difficult to express their feelings, emotions and thoughts. Others may
have learned manipulation due to their upbringing.
●
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: This
disorder involves using others as an end, that is, to get what they want.
●
Fear: People may use manipulation techniques
because they feel a fear of being abandoned by others. This usually happens in
couples who have been dating for many years.
●
Defensive attitude: Manipulation can be a
method to avoid guilt. In this way, some people may avoid guilt as a way to
control or abuse others and others out of fear of being judged due to low
self-esteem.
●
Low self-esteem: Some people may use
manipulation techniques because they suffer from low self-esteem. These tactics
are used to try to feel better about themselves.
How not to be manipulated?
Manipulators are often subtle and cunning people, but you can
still work to prevent these abuses through the following tips:
●
Recognize the signs: People who manipulate
often exhibit very similar behaviors. For example, they are often too close
from the start, make empty promises, or may try to make you feel guilty.
●
Be aware of your emotions: Evoking strong
emotions is one of the most effective ways to manipulate others. In fact,
people who use manipulation can often play on your emotions, but you must
remember that you are the one in control of how you feel.
●
Stay calm: Maintaining emotional control is
important so that manipulators cannot use your feelings against you. Therefore,
you should try to appear as calm as possible before the different manipulation
techniques.
●
Avoid personalizing: Although manipulation can
be harmful, it is important to try to internalize that this type of behavior
has nothing to do with you. Manipulation often has more to do with the person
and their inability to meet their own needs in a healthy way.
●
Respect your limits: People who tend to use
manipulation techniques constantly tend to have difficulties listening to the
other person or feel that they are being manipulated. Before someone who
manipulates it is vital to control our limits and enforce them.
●
Talk it over with someone you trust: It can be
emotionally draining and hurtful to deal with someone who is manipulative.
Talking to a close friend or family member about what you are experiencing or
feeling about the manipulation will make it easier for you to confront this
person.